Sci-Fine

Time for some futuristic, cerebral-data-stealing cyborg, radioactive elite planet banter. I don't know s*** about f*** when it comes to this genre of movies. But lately, I'm liking it.

WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS (NOT TO MENTION A CLUELESS REVIEWER OF THE SCI-FI GENRE)

Elysium
Starring Matt Damon, Jodie Foster & Diego Luna
Directed by Neill Blomkamp (He brought us District 9)

Its uncanny that these 2 recent movies I've reviewed have single-word titles. Filmmakers must be running out of quirky, interesting names for their flicks. Whatever happened to titles like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford? Anyway, I digress.

I went to watch this movie without knowing anything about it! I might have seen the trailer but I must have completely forgot the details somewhere along the way. IMDB gave this one a 7.1 out of 10 and I was pleasantly surprised that I enjoyed this as much as I did. 

 Fangirl moment.

The girlie girl part of me really liked Matt Damon's character, with all the tattoos and fit physique, the greasy jumpsuit and badass/smartass attitude. Very appealing. For me at least. Anyway, moving on to the more important things!


Elysium is set in the year 2154 and the filthy rich physically perfect elitists live on a fancy-ass pretty planet (called Elysium. Shocker.) that's still visible from Earth, almost like a slap in the face for the miscreants left behind. You could almost sense the smug hoity-toities silently proclaiming 'it's just too bad for you, you poor bastards. We're living it up.' I felt that it was an unfortunate stereotype that all the poverty-stricken citizens that were trying to 'sneak in' to Elysium appeared to be Mexican and/or some other form of South American and the wealthy, healthy, gorgeous Elysium inhabitants seemed to look really, really European.

Matt Damon (Max) finds himself in a situation that exposes him to extremely hazardous levels of radiation and discovers that he only has 5 days left to live. He is then determined to find a way to Elysium to make use of their Med-Pods (which can cure anything from a grazed toe to leukemia). Jodie Foster was locking it down with the cold, hard security-is-as-tight-as-my-ass-bitch vibe but for some reason I couldn't really get into the swing of seeing her as the bad guy, her spoken parts seemed to be badly dubbed but then again it could have just been a strange way she might have been speaking. Either way, I don't think she was quite nasty or cutthroat enough. I was quite impressed with the technological gadgets and advancements in the film and even when Max became a semi-robot-cyborg-roof-rack-man I thought it was cool.

Some scenes had a video-game feel to it especially when the futuristic, ridiculously amazing weaponry was being shown. I liked the Med-pods that could cure every illness you could ever imagine. And the flashbacks that Max kept getting with memories of an old nun that gave him a locket with a picture of Earth from space to remind him 'where he came from.' The South African villain had one of the most annoying accents ever known to man but he was pretty fierce when it came to getting the job done.

"There's GOTTA be an easier way to spy on my ex-girlfriend."

My ratings:

Cheese: 2 Wedges of Swiss Cheese (Fairly cheesy with some [loop]holes)

With ALL the amazing technology and tracking satellite devices in 2154, they couldn't find ONE guy that was running away with the MOST important data on the planet? Really? Perhaps they should have tried a metal detector. 

Chocolate: 4 Kit-Kat Wafers (Mildly sweet)

I thought Matt Damon's childhood love Frey was a ballsy, no-nonsense woman, my kind of leading lady. Her daughter was adorable too. I also felt the 'stab' when Julio (Diego Luna) met his maker fairly early in the film. He seemed like a good friend to Max.

Favorite Scene + Line:
When Max is getting 'pimped' with all his new metal bits and pieces. Right before he goes under the knife, he asks innocently 'is this gonna hurt?' How cute. An honorable mention goes to the scene where Kruger's face gets blown off mid-flight and subsequently gets reconstructed within seconds once his comrades bring his body back to Elysium. Visually very impressive.

Favorite Moment:
When Frey discovers a tiny tattoo that Max has of a symbol she drew on him when they were just children. It represented the promise he made to her to take her to Elysium one day. 

Show-Stealer:
Spider, the hacker with the cane and irresistibly entertaining accent plus his uncanny knowledge of how to change the world with a few simple commands typed into what shockingly looks like an old-fashioned computer for its time.

Product Placement:
I couldn't spot any although I'm sure someone who knows their gadgets well would have been able to find something.

Soundtrack:
Very drum and bass-y with slight tinges of techno and classical music.
Arkasia, Kryptic Minds & Beethoven
It really suited the vibes of the film so I found it very apt.

Courtesy of IMDB:
Two goofs to look out for:
1. When the little girl with crutches is smuggled onto Elysium, the medical scanner diagnoses "multiple compound fractures". However, a compound fracture (modernly called an open fracture) is where broken bones cut through the skin. There were no such injuries on the girl as she walked with her crutches. BOOM!
2. Spider walks with a cane for most of the movie, yet somehow manages to run around without a cane during the fight scene in the end of the movie. BOOM!
Two trivia tidbits:
1. Takes place in the year 2154 AD, which is the exact same year that Avatar takes place in. 
Spooky how both movies are literally worlds apart.
2. The car that Matt Damon and Diego Luna drive is a modified Nissan GT-R. 

Here's the trailer!

NEXT UP: Kick Ass 2

 

Take it sleazy.

That Apple Show

I still have approximately 3 weeks before I get my hands on the first 10 movies of The Big 250. So in the meantime, I thought I'd write some ramblings about recent movies I've seen. 

WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS
Jobs
Starring Ashton Kutcher, Dermot Mulroney & Josh Gad
Directed by Joshua Michael Stern

IMDB gave this a mere 5.4 out of 10 but I quite enjoyed it! It's the story of Steve Jobs and how he evolved from a college dropout to a household name etc etc. Truth be told, I actually didn't know enough about him before watching the movie so it was hard to determine the authenticity of his demeanor, mannerisms, behavior and life story. However, I was fairly impressed with Ashton Kutcher's performance and I thought he was pretty intense, especially when he was talking to Bill Gates on the phone about how 'IBM stole his ideas' and when he was trying to get his message across to the people in his team and members of the board. My interpretation of Steve Jobs from this movie is that he was a blunt, no-nonsense kinda entrepreneur. Admirable in some ways, but major asshole most of the time. True, Kutcher's impersonation of Jobs' slouched walk seemed somewhat over-exaggerated but I think he's come a long way from being a ditzy, pretty boy stoner. Kudos Kelso!

My ratings:

Cheese: 1 Block of Red Leicester [Mildly cheesy]

Some parts were just too biased towards the Apple company and how innovative they are and how far they've come. I don't deny that they've done well for themselves but at times it seemed a little too blatant.

Chocolate: One Cadbury Dairy Milk Bar [Semi-sweet]

I felt for Jobs when he pushed everyone away because of how much of a perfectionist he was and the only place he could go back to was his parents' house. I was actually quite moved because of how many men are seen crying in this movie. 

Favourite Scene + Line: 
When Jobs tells one of his managers "You're either with me or against me...and if you're not with me, then you can get the f*** out!" 
Loved the intensity.

Favourite moment:
When Jobs is going through his mail and he comes across a letter from his daughter. Hit the 'too-close-to-home' nerve just a tad. 

Show-stealer: 
The 'Rebel' technician on the motorbike. 
Okay maybe just because he reminded me of my ex. 
Product Placement: Duh. Apple.
Soundtrack: Cat Stevens, Bob Dylan, REO Speedwagon 
Enjoyed most of the song choices. Suited the 70s vibe really well.

Courtesy of IMDB:
Two goofs you should look out for: 
1. When Jobs visits a computer store in 1976 to arrange to sell the first Apple computers, several IBM monitors are on the shelf but they did not appear on the market until the IBM PC several years later. BOOM!
2. Just before Jobs takes over the Macintosh project in the early 1980's, a blue 1991-94 Chevy Cavalier sedan drives past in the parking lot. BOOM!
Two trivia tidbits: 
1. To prepare for his role, Ashton Kutcher followed a fruitarian diet, similar to Steve Jobs' reported diet. Days before shooting, he was hospitalized with pancreatitis. Yikes.
2. Almost all of the scenes involving Jobs' parents house and garage were filmed in the actual Los Altos, California house and garage where Steve Jobs grew up in the 1970s. Nice.

Here's the trailer if you're interested to know more:

NEXT UP: Elysium

Take it sleazy.


                                                           

You complete me.

So I've been told that I'm pretty crazy and silly when it comes to my obsession with collecting movie DVDs. Everyone always has almost identical responses 'You can just watch everything online! Why spend money on things that just collect dust on your shelf and are gonna be obsolete sooner than you think?'

Well you know what, screw you guys.

If you like watching movies online, by all means, do as you please. I have done it before too, thinking I was a hot shot, getting to watch movies for free ! But now personally I like to appreciate the time, effort and talent that goes into making a movie. Sure DVDs take up space and how many times are you really gonna watch one movie? 

My comeback is, if you watch a movie on DVD and end up not liking it at all, you can always donate it/sell it/give it away as a present to someone you don't like at all. Genius!

By watching movies online, sure it may be convenient and free! But I'm here to be devil's advocate and try to inspire you to buy the original ;)

1. You get questionable quality when you watch movies online. Sometimes the audio is shit and special effects don't have the same, well, effect on you.

2. Movies don't load all the time. If you're the kind of person that's very impatient like me, then waiting for a movie to load/buffer can kill you! Especially if it's an exciting movie that you need to pay attention to. And right at the pivotal moment, it freezes and you curse the computer gods and throw your wireless keyboard against the wall and your mouse out the window. Okay maybe that was just me.

Everyone remember
this guy? --->

3. You lose out on special features.
On DVDs you get outtakes, deleted scenes, subtitles, commentary and all sorts of goodies. Online movies unfortunately don't provide any of that. So suck it.

4. You can't rewind movies online. Well not easily at least. Refer to point no. 2 and buffering time will make you tear your hair out and forget why you wanted to re-watch that scene in the first place.

5. Sources for movies online change constantly. So you might not have the chance to watch that movie again should you feel the need to. Or it might take you a million years to even find a reliable source that works.

Now some of you might be thinking, well if you want quality, why not Blu-ray Discs instead of DVDs? Good question. Here's why.

Blu-ray players can only play Blu-ray Discs and they are ri-goddamn-diculously expensive. Also Blu-ray Discs are not cheap either. Sure, they might take over from DVDs  eventually. Just like LDs took over VHS and VCDs took over LDs. I'll  cross that bridge when I come to it.

As far as I know, my DVDs are my best friends. 

It might sound pretty pathetic but I wouldn't have it any other way. Of course I have human friends too but deep down I have never really trusted anyone enough to say that they will never let me down. But I know my movies will always be there for me any time of the day or night. I believe there is a perfect movie out there to help you overcome a personal obstacle, share your anger and frustration if you're having a shitty day, inspire you to be a better person or just heighten your happy feelings if you've found a new love. Here are just 3 of my picks for 3 different emotions/scenarios. I tried to think of the most common situations that people experience.

1. A break up/Major PMS/A fight with your significant other/Not being invited to an outing with your friends
*special 'too-close-to-home' scenario: If for some reason the people you trusted most in your life suddenly decided they wanted to kill you by any means necessary.
- Kill Bill Vol 1 or 2 
Pretty much anything by QT works quite well for these situations. In the 2 Kill Bills, you feel for Beatrix Kiddo because everyone's turned against her and she's just having the worst day in history. You want her to get even so much that you tend to forget about your itty bitty problems in the real world. Tarantino's dialogue also never fails to entertain and his over the top style always leaves you wanting more.

2. Falling in love/Making a new friend
*special 'too-close-to-home' scenario: If you have lost your significant other or if you don't spend enough time with your kids
- Up 
Pixar is known for their positive messages and all-round warm and fuzzy feelings that come with their fantastic movies. If a film that has two sweet people growing old together, a cute helpful Asian 'wilderness explorer', a multilingual dog with ADD and a bird named Kevin doesn't bring a sentimental tear to your eye then you should probably get yourself checked for a pulse. Oh and did I mention the hundreds and thousands of beautiful balloons?

3. A shitty day at work/Skipping work/Hating Work/Getting a scolding from your boss
*special 'too-close-to-home' scenario: If you are male and you have daddy issues
 - The Pursuit of Happyness
I've always been a fan of Will Smith and this is probably my favourite movie of his. True story bro. I mean, this is a true story. About Chris Gardner and the struggles he faced with his young son. From start to finish it has you rooting for Gardner because you can see how hard he's working and how much he wants to provide a better life for his family. The most touching part is the bathroom scene (as much as that sounds dubious) and after you watch it you feel so much more grateful for what you have and motivated to be better at what you do. 

To sum it all up, the lists and potential scenarios could go on but one thing that I know is, my DVDs are not going anywhere. They'll always be there to share my laughter, sorrow, anger, insanity, frustration, joy and tears. 

Where did our love go? Oh right, to the movies.

It's been two years and too many heartaches since my last post. He wasn't the one after all. Maybe the one that got away.

*Thanks Katy Perry, Pink, Brad Paisley, Keith Urban, Lady Antebellum, Whitesnake, Journey, Mr Big, Rascal Flatts, Bruno Mars and so many more amazing soppy artists for helping me get through my relationship and break up. (*to be read with a hint of sarcasm and contempt) Sadists.

After watching 500 Days of Summer I realized, we were not meant to be, just like Tom and Summer. I had been lying to myself for almost a year that things would change and get better. That we would grow old together. Phooey.

Well, with that out of the way, I'm trying to start afresh. I went on a soul-searching 'Eat, Pray, Love' type trip to Europe where I basked in the beauty of London and Paris pretty much on my own. I learned that I really don't need anyone to 'survive' and I shouldn't depend on people to make me happy. I belong to me. Word.

I'm starting a new project. Its called The Big 250.

I'm gonna watch every movie in ascending order on IMDB's Top 250 Movies List. That's right. 250.

First things first, I have to buy the DVDs of the titles that I don't already own. After I watch each movie, I'm gonna write a review based on ratings of cheese (how cheesy the movie is [duh]) and chocolate (how sweet it is)

Whoever's already been reading my ramblings up until now, I thank you. For those who are about to, good luck. Think Memento confused you? Just wait. The messed up corners of my twisted mind may not be suitable for those under the age of 16. There, that was my disclaimer. Aside from that, I am open to your comments, opinions and thoughts. I love good movie banter. You may be a cunning linguist, but I am a master debater.

Wish me luck. It's kinda sucky that I don't own the first 10 titles on the list. Amazon, HMV, and Mustafa here I come.

First title: Arsenic & Old Lace. (1944)
Update & Review will be posted as soon as movie has been purchased.

Take it sleazy.