And whadya know? I'm a girl. A big, mushy, emotional, easily amused, glamorous, feminine, high-maintenance, dramatic and passionate girl.
So how do I have fun? What steps do I need to take?
A sense of adventure and a taste for excitement. Check.
A schedule that allows for spontaneity. Check.
A financial allowance for the occasional splurge. (sometimes it comes in the form of a) Check.
A group of people to enjoy aforementioned activities with.
Aha! Houston we have a problem.
Truth be told, I have outgrown most of my friends. I have only 5 that I consider to be my closest buddies whom I would do anything for.
But they are moving on with their lives. I seem to be stuck in a moment that I can't get out of.
One is going to the army very soon, and he's probably gonna have little or no free time once he enlists. That's fair enough, I know he's my best guy friend and we'll always have that bond no matter how far or how long we are apart.
The other two are going back to Australia as soon as possible and I'm trying to take a mature standpoint in the entire matter. I know I should be happy that they will be happy too but I can't help but want to go with them.
The fourth one can't go out much because his mum is a little bit too over-protective and it's not her fault, neither is it his. I feel bad that most of the time he's pretty broke and can't really do much except stay home but when we do hang out, it's always uplifting, even if we're just watching The Office at my place.
My best friend is definitely my mum. She accepts me for who I am and she's never afraid to show me some tough love once in a while. I don't know what I'd do without her.
My boy cousins are like brothers to me. But once in a while, I wanna have a girls' night out. I'm tired of being one of the guys, and listening to all the things that girls shouldn't know about.
It's the same as having a guy in a group of girls and telling him about PMS and period cramps and chick flicks and Glee and celebrity crushes and fashion/chocolate/shoes/make-up/hairstyles and the list goes on.
Where is my Carrie, Samantha and Miranda? (I've already established that I'm definitely Charlotte from Sex and the City)
I know that my real life Carrie is my housemate, but she's married and she has her own life. I don't expect her to be my bff because we have different priorities and opinions about things.
My mum is Miranda cause she's a complete workaholic and control freak but I love her because of it.
My best guy friend is probably Samantha because let's face it, he's a bit of a slut sometimes but I don't love him any less because of the choices that he makes.
I think I need to find myself again. I keep losing track of who I am and where I'm going. Do I really need a bff or a bf to get by? Am I really that needy? Maybe so.
But I don't want to be that person. Perhaps when I get over this hurdle I will look back and think 'hey, that wasn't as bad as I made it out to be. I actually had it pretty good.'
Until that day comes, I intend to have some 'me' time and well, just have a little bit of fun along the way. On my own.
